When I know I am eating right and working out consistently I am on the scale all.the.time. I high 5 myself when I see the numbers dropping and it pushes me to work harder and eat better. But for me the opposite is also true. When I am not eating right and slacking off at the gym I don't even look at the scale. It's like it doesn't even exist. I don't want to know what number it will display. I don't want to know how far I have veered from my goals. I continue to eat poorly because I think 'meh, I'm already doing crappy what is one more cookie going to matter?' It does matter. One more cookie is one more act of not getting back on track.
The fact that I have been unable to stick with it for the short 12 weeks this challenge will be taking place is a testament to how hard it is to make a fundamental change in your life. I was doing so good...7 months of doing good actually. But the last 7 weeks have been terrible. I'm working out 50% less but worst of all I am eating horribly. And I know it, hell I have admitted it here several times but still I don't stop myself.
So the question is WHY? The answer is TIME. I spend too much time doing things that stealing time from making healthy decisions. Like meal planning, preparing breakfast and lunch the night before and sleeping well.
Tonight I forced myself to step on the scale. I braced for the worst. But what I saw wasn't terrible. It wasn't 7 months of wasted sweat and tears. It just wasn't a good number and it certainly wasn't going in the direction that I wanted it to. I have never relied on the scale as to a measure of fitness because I find the way I feel and the way my clothes fit tell a better story. I feel like crap, I'm tired all the time and my clothes are starting to not fit comfortably again. That number on the scale tonight was the final validation that I need to stop this train I am on and smarten the hell up.
It is funny how a number as small as 4 can make me feel so different. It isn't just that I have gained 4 pounds. I know it means that I have lost muscle mass and that translates to that 4 pounds actually being more since muscle weighs more than fat. I have lost muscle and gained fat back. I am living in a fitness bizarro world.
Jen's New OMG I HATE THIS BIZZARO WORLD Plan
* Cardio 5 times a week
* Weights 3 times a week
* Find new recipes that we will love
* Meal plan each Friday night
* Organize pantry with baskets for each meal on the plan
* Make time for meal preparation each night
* In bed by 11PM every weeknight
* Go out for lunch maximum biweekly
* No takeout for dinner for the rest of the challenge
Go Green Get Fit Status
Fitness - Bootcamp is done. The Filthy 50 can kiss my ass.
Strength - Lifted higher weights this week!
Food - Getting back on track with food as I steered so very far off course.
Me Time - Continuing to work on finding a good balance.
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