20 Green Mommy Guilt

Welcome to the "I'm a Natural Parent - BUT..." Carnival
This post was written for inclusion in the carnival hosted by The Artful Mama and Natural Parents Network. During this carnival our participants have focused on the many different forms and shapes Natural Parenting can take in our community.

No one said being a Mom would be easy. I remember before we had B I would confide in Joe that I was terrified of being a Mom. I had no clue what I was doing. I wasn't lucky like Joe in having a big age gap with siblings. He had years of experience raising his younger siblings. I had no years of experience doing that. Yes I had friends and siblings who had kids before me. I loved nights and weekends alone with my niece and nephew and it was easy but I knew it just wasn't the same as being on Mommy duty 24/7.

I surprised myself at how easy it was for me once B was born. No, I didn't know what to do all the time and yes I had many a OMG IS HE BREATHING moments but we got into our groove after a few weeks and from that point on it was like I was born to be a Mom. 

What I was not prepared for was Mommy Guilt. It starts early doesn't it? It can be self imposed or felt from another Mom's judging eyes. I feel this is especially so because I am a Green Mom. I feel like every decision I make I am being judged by a million eyes. I am by no means perfect as a Mom or as a Green Mom but then again neither are you. We are all doing what we can to make this world a better place for the children in our lives. I try not to sensor myself here because I like being honest with you about just how green we are. But there is still that moment right before I hit Publish that I think 'shit xyz person is going to think I am the worst Green Mom ever'. 

B wears disposable diapers. I have talked about that before and our experience with cloth. It doesn't stop me from advocating for people trying cloth but I sure as hell feel the Mommy Guilt when someone sees or hears we use disposable. It doesn't even matter that we have picked the greenest disposable on the market either. We are still part of the problem.

I own a stroller and I love it. I also own a Baby Hawk and I love it. It is all about moderation baby. We have taken our stroller around the world with us and use it when the situation is right. But our carrier is always with us too and we bust that bad boy out when we are off the beaten path or when we just want B extra close to us.

B has had fast food. In fact he is a french fry junkie. We make an effort to steer clear from McDonald's type places but doesn't mean he hasn't had a Happy Meal. I am really cautious that we are not teaching him that fast food is a treat....because it isn't. A treat is a handful of Annie's little bunny cookies or veggie chips.  But I also want him to just be a kid and eat what other kids eat....so fries it is every once in awhile. 

Part of Mommy Guilt for me is comparing myself to other Green Mom's. Some that I follow or interact with are at a level that I'm not sure I will ever be okay with. It gets to me sometimes but I am getting to a place now where I am learning to take comfort in the fact that there are lots more of us in the same place in life. Stand proud fellow Green Mom's!!! You are doing what you can do and there should be no shame or guilt in that.

Related Posts - Check them Out
Last Monday
Speed Bumps
Raising Green Kids


I'm a Natural Parent — But … Blog CarnivalThis carnival was created by The Artful Mama and Natural Parents Network. We recognize that "natural parenting" means different things to different families, and we are dedicated to providing a safe place for all families, regardless of where they are in their parenting journeys.

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:


  1. Thank you! I too believe in moderation and sometimes the guilt I feel is CRAZY! I mean taking some time on the computer raises my Mother's eyebrow lol. We used cloth diapers but are using pull ups while potty training and I think, "wow am I hypocritical"... even though I know that McDonalds every now and then & disposable pullups do NOT make me a bad Mommy! Thank you for voicing your concerns it makes me feel a little more balanced hearing it from another Green Mommy!

  2. Using cloth diapers is a huge accomplishment so you should be proud of that and not worry about having to use disposable pullups! All in you are still way further ahead.

  3. Thanks for popping over to the weekend gathering hops, now following you via gfc hoping you will follow us back at http://www.beckvalleybooks.blogspot.com thanks in advance xx

  4. I think as mothers there is always something to feel guilty about, its just part of the job. Jen i think you are an amazing mom and B is lucky to have you. I always knew you would be a great mom because you were so great with "I". Especially when you survived the play yard evening. You survived that night with no Joey and only a mild meltdown!

  5. Hi! Following you from the Weekend Gathering Blog Hop! Would love a visit back! Thanks!

  6. Don't feel guilt about these things! I feel guilt if I forget to brush my daughter's teeth! lol
    Following you from the Sunday Stalker Hop :)

  7. I completely know what you mean. I try not to feel guilty, but its hard. We used all cloth with our oldest, but my youngest - when we first got him at his tiny preemie age of 5 weeks - was too small for any cloth I could find. So we used disposables. Once he was finally old enough (see big enough) to use cloth, we learned quickly that they would still leak on him no matter which ones we chose. So back to disposables. Boo on me right?

    Just keep plugging. It aint easy being green, but every bit helps! I think some of these moms are creating children that are not going to be able to cope very well with the rest of the world and may go nuts in rebellion later!

    Stopping by/following from the Stalker Hop!


  8. @Jenny - I feel guilty when I forget that too! Thankfully he asks to brush his teeth now (we moved his toothbrush and toothpaste to the powder room on the main floor - no clue why this made him start asking).

  9. @Paula - I have wondered that too. Will kids who have never had McDonalds go on a Big Mac rampage when they are older and allowed to make their own decisions or will the thought/taste of it make them feel gross or will they just never want to because they have never been exposed to it. I'm kind of thinking option 2 - they will eat it and then get that gross feeling afterwards and wonder what all the hype was about.

  10. It was if you read my mind! I too suffer from Mommy guilt every time I can't find what I really want to use and have to use what is available. I think to myself "how can I preach one thing" and have to use disposables sometimes, or supplement with formula to get a little much needed sleep with twins.
    I haven't been able to stop my in laws from showering their children with chocolate candy or fast food and I know our kids are going to not want to be that different so, yes, Mommy guilt will be with me forever. Thank you for SAYING it.

  11. I dare anyone to name one person who is an eco-perfectionist. This is why we can't give ourselves such a hard time for not always picking the most eco option!

  12. It is the comparisons that end up doing us in, yeah?! But we're all on our own journeys, and there is no shame in doing what is right for our families :)

  13. We are so hard on ourselves and others that we forget to look at the positives sometimes. We have to weigh what's best for our families and make the best decision we can with what we have.

  14. We do McDonald's drive-through. I keep seeing press reports about how they're cleaning up their act - no more gestation crates, etc, so I temper my guilt with that. But we do it often enough that Baz knows to ask for fries when someone passes me something through the window. ;-)

  15. Hi, new follower here! I very much agree, mommy guilt starts early. I have a 7 wk old and I am already feeling it. I had to go back to work last week (even though I work out of my home, its a standard 8 to 5 gig) so I am struggling with that. Also, there are no mommy and me groups in the evening in my small town, so I've had a few moments of "Oh, my baby will never have play dates! I'm a horrible mom!" It's hard to emotionally let go of that guilt even though logically you know you shouldn't have it. So I hear ya.

  16. Great post! I completely agree that it's all about moderation and that we're all just doing the best we can.

  17. I truly feel that when your decisions become a burden, you're starting to fail... You have to fit your choices in with your lifestyle or they'll never be sustainable. Great post!

  18. @kijet - I didn't do Mommy and Me play groups either. I did meet some nice Mom's at Baby Bootcamp though and now we have B enrolled in swim classes and "sports" where he gets to interact the other kids. Maybe your town has similar programs?

    "sports" = 1 hr each week where they play a different sport each week. They basically learn the techniques for each sport.

  19. Hardest thing we learn is that we cant compare ourselves with other crunchy mamas. To each their own, as long as you are doing what you know is right for your baby!

  20. I truly believe that the toll guilt can take on our health and wellness is FAR worse than any of the minor little not-so-green choices we may make from day to day.

    I am all about being centered and balanced and doing what is best for my family. It sounds like you've got that down. Get rid of that pesky old guilt (as you already are) and you'll be golden!